Learning Experiences

Here’s what I’ve learned from my long days at the Marriott Residence Inn in Alexandria.

1. The Book of Mormon sounds a lot like the Bible, only faker.
2. There’s something called the “Christian Contractors Association.” I guess that makes sense, since Jesus was a carpenter.
3. The elliptical is better on my knees than the treadmill or the exercise bike, and definitely easier than slippery cobblestones.
4. Tourists are slow and wide (oh wait, I already knew that).
5. Virginia drivers speed up when they see pedestrians trying to cross the street.
6. There are more places to get a good hamburger in Alexandria than I’ve ever seen anywhere else.
7. My pants are getting tight (see #6).
8. The cheap booze at the daily happy hours in the lobby is not worth the calories (see #7).
9. Every once in a while, the hotel will have a lone New York Times or even a Daily News to read at breakfast.
10. I measure out my days in elevator rides, not coffee spoons.